The Change

Leonardo DiCaprio was just on TV, in an ad for some random property development. This was followed by a program where celebrities learn how to re-use a paper cup in various, wondrous ways. Yup, I'm in Japan again.

They say "the more things change, the more they stay the same." I don't know who "they" are, but I do know that they are, indeed, full of crap. I mean seriously, think about it. If things change, they do NOT stay the same, no? If things stay the same the more they change, then that would mean my coming to Japan actually is the same as me staying in Sweden, Loft in Shinjuku closing equaling it staying open, the third guy at the World's Finest Rameneria (Yayaya in Yotsuya, as if you didn't know) leaving would mean him staying, and the train I was supposed to take to the airport (Copenhagen, naturally) being delayed an hour would mean it arrived on time. So no chance of that, then.

Yeah, I had a bit of a run-in getting here (which for those of you keeping score is Shin-yokohama. Or "New Yokohama." Pretty much the same relationship with regular old Yokohama as York and New York, I would imagine). It ended up with me being driven to the airport instead of taking the train. The driver was none other than Anders Borg. You may know Anders Borg as the finance minister (or Chancellor of the Exchequer, collect the whole set of chancellors and get a free petri dish!) of the Kingdom of Sweden. Sadly, while I've experienced episodes involving previous holders of that office, this kind man bore very little resemblance to that Anders Borg. But he did get both of us to the airport. In time, no less.

As a fine character in an equally fine movie once put it: "I've been here a week, I've got my name on the door, a geranium in the window, but I'm still waiting for my secretary". What, if any relevance that particular statement holds for me in my situation remains unclear.

However! I have now taken the big - and as all other big things, scary - step into the world of working men. Or 60% working women, in my case. Thus far, the only thing I can say about work is that the people are quite excellent, and that I "only know that I know nothing", or however that went. It's gonna be fun though. I think.

Now, I could regale you with tales of my first week, but I don't think you want that. In all honesty, I don't think you'll prefer the following, but as they say on the Interwebs: Tough shit. As I have been busy working this past week (did you not read the above paragraph? It say so right there), not a lot of pictures were taken. Which means I'll test your identifying skillz using the following. You mission, which you have accepted by reading this far (see the above part about "tough shit") is to either tell me the location of the keypad - somewhere in the entire known universe! - or which one of the remotes I brought with me here, and what its role is. As that is deemed to be the easier task, you will only receive 4/5ths the immortal honor by solving that one as you would the top one.

A keypad. What did you think it was? Mustard? Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so, well, mean. It must be the last of the jetlag. Or maybe the proximity to fermented beans.


Five remotes. There can be only one! Triple word score to anybody who can tell me what the small white one does. I've lived here a week and I have no clue.

There, that little bit of audience participation didn't kill you, did it? Good. Moving on, I can mention that we had a magnitude 4.2 quake here a couple of days ago. I hardly felt it, but the Intertron told me it was 4.2, so there's no denying it. The reason I hardly felt it either has to do with me being a total badass, or that the house here is pretty quake-resistant. You pick.

Also, I have a new friend. He lives on the same floor as me, and can open the combination lock on my mailbox without knowing the combination. Hell, I don't even know that combination. If you ever need a lock picked and Charles Ingvar Jonsson isn't around, feel free to give me a call. I'll pass him the info.

Be sure to tune in next week as... things will have happened! Trust me on this.